Next sunday we’re going to need a Plan B. We are going to be at The Scottish Game Fair at Scone Palace outside Perth, the gateway to the Highlands, the third day of selling my cartoons and books and prints to the scottish public. It’s a very scottish occasion, and a first for us.
Obviously. Because, oh dear, if (when) Andy Murray gets into the Wimbledon Final, it’s sure to be a five setter, and the final is……….. next sunday ! It’ll be exciting, a nail biting, edge of seat, heart racing, nerve jangling television extravaganza – and yes, the denizens of Dunblane and the whole of Scotland will be ensconced at home, on their tartan sofas, with tinnies and crisps and shouting at their televisions and egging on their favourite son.
So it’s going to be a quiet one for Viv and Ollie, and we need to take matters into our own hands. Execute plan B. There’s only one thing for it, we need to hire a whopping 70 inch screen for our tent, and dig deep to purchase the widest width of broadband in the borders, and stream the match live into our stand. Maybe add a bit of colour – strawberries and cream, free champagne – give out panamas and floppy wide brimmed sun hats, and an occasional sprinkler for those intervals of rain stopped play. The punters will all be on our stand , pretending to browse, but in reality transfixed at the cliffhanger that is the Wimbledon Men’s final. Glory days!
We could, on the other hand, just lay down on the grass outside, enjoy the sun, the waft of lilting scottish accents and the highland ambience – and listen to Radio Five Live on a wind up radio. Add in champagne and strawberries, and the occasional tennis phobe customer, and it’ll make for a perfect afternoon.
“Okay I lost my service. You can spare us the amateur dramatics.”